| if i don't say this now i will surely break |
[22 Apr 2006|10:02am] |
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mood |
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music |
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the fray, "look after you" |
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there now, steady love, so few come and don't go
will you, won't you, be the one i always know
when i'm losing my control, the city spins around
you're the only one who knows, you slow it down
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| it's coming down to nothing more than apathy |
[19 Apr 2006|11:11am] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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the fray, "how to save a life" |
] |
step one you say, "we need to talk"
he walks, you say, "sit down it's just a talk"
he smiles politely back at you
you stare politely right on through
some sort of window to your right
as he goes left and you stay right
between the lines of fear and blame
and you begin to wonder why you came
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known how to save a life
let him know that you know best
'cause after all you do know best
try to slip past his defense
without granting innocence
lay down a list of what is wrong
the things you've told him all along
and pray to god he hears you
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known how to save a life
as he begins to raise his voice
you lower yours and grant him one last choice
drive until you lose the road
pr break with the ones you've followed
he will do one of two things
he will admit to everything
or he'll say he's just not the same
and you'll begin to wonder why you came
where did i go wrong
(where did i go wrong), i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up
(i would of stayed up) with you all night
had i known how to save a life
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| pray for a man in the middle |
[17 Apr 2006|07:50am] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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music |
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the pixies, "mr. grieves" |
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yesterday my mom finally gave me my "big" present. it was a 35mm cannon! she had also bought me 5 rolls of 35mm film and a case for the camera. i was so happy i could've cried. i know my mom probably spent more money on it than she should have. i took the most beautiful pictures of my 2 year old cousin, francesse♥. i can't wait to see how they turned out. my mom had also given me some sweet pea lotion and candies perfume in my easter basket.
even though chet and i aren't "together" i still want him deeply involved in my life. he's my bestfriend. i had him come with me so he could finally meet my family. all in all it was a beautiful day and i hope everyone else enjoyed their easter as well.
today my mom and i have a lot of running around to do, so she took off from work. i'm happy.. we hardly ever spend time together just her and i. at 9 we're going to hacc to sign me up for the upcoming ged tests which start tomorrow. i'm extremely nervous/excited at the same time. i've been talking about this day for a long time and it's finally happening. after we do all that at hacc we're going to the mall so i can return my razr. i had recived an automated call saying all razr phones distributed between february 1st and march 9th had some sort of defect. oh well, now i get a brand spankin' new one. after that's all said and done we're meeting up with my auntie lena so we can mail in my taxes (seeing as how the latest they can be postmarked is the 17th).
i have amazed myself and all of my loved ones around me in how much i've changed and grown. it's a beautiful feeling. i've never been so proud of myself.
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| you hollow out my hungry eyes |
[16 Apr 2006|04:51am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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taking back sunday, "makedamesure" |
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i hate the thought of still being so young and at times feeling inferior.
i wish i was found beautiful, not only in a physical sense, but i want my mind worshipped along with the curvatures of my body. i want to be found flawless in every single way.
i'm usually so good with my words.. but what happens when i'm left speechless? yes, patience is a virtue, but patience is something that i lack.
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| my tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent |
[11 Apr 2006|02:32am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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the underwater, "losing me" |
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today i decided to sleep in until someone viciously woke me up. i ate dinner with the family, my mom had bought me a small icecream cake. yum! i opened some presents. i didn't expect to get anything big, but mom said she was going to give me my big present this weekend. hopefully it's the 35mm slr i've been asking for (cross your fingers).
i figured i should probably get dressed and attempt to make myself look decent. chet came over and then keith called and sang me happy birthday. keith came over and we went to borders. i bought 2 cd's. "louder than bombs" by the smiths and she wants revenge self titled. after border's keith and i went to the movies and saw "slither." it was actually pretty entertaining. more funny and gross than anything. after the movies we went to wal-mart and i picked up a pilattes workout dvd. dan called keith and we went over there for a little while. i got to see dan, dale, and james. we didn't stay long before i decided to come home and relax.
i hate unnecessary arguing. i despise feeling like i'm being kept on a short leash. i won't have it and i don't know how many countless amounts of times i'll have to say it before it actually sinks in.
in other news i'm going for my ged on the 18th. that's the first day of the tests and it's every other tuesday after that. in the meantime i've been searching for a part time job. i put my application in at american eagle and i still have a bunch i still need to hand in. i'm excited about handing in my checkered past application. i think that would be a very fitting job for me.
i've been so stressed out over looking for part time jobs, no longer having health insurance, my upcoming ged tests, thinking about what classes to enroll in, my present relationship, and having to pay bills with the little to no money i currently have.
this entry is already too long, therefor i won't go on.
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| the night has fallen down the staircase, and i for one have felt it's bruises. |
[10 Apr 2006|10:43am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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cursive, "the casualty" |
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today's my 19th birthday and i haven't been to sleep yet.
i went and got my monroe pierced on friday as an early birthday present.
i think it looks pretty neat if i do say so myself.
i honestly don't know why i made another one of these again..
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